Welcome!!!

iwannastayupallnightwith-1d:

zaynbowsandniallerflies:

Listen to the audio as you read.

Reblog if you like it.

When you get to the bold words, go to that part in the song (its the slower part towards the end)

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Hannah sat at her kitchen table, her phone up against her ear. It was dark in her kitchen, the only source of light coming from the lit up screen of her laptop. A picture of Louis and Eleanor at the airport stared back at her.

Her hands shook as the phone rang. It had been months since she had spoken to Louis.

She swallowed as it went to his voicemail. His familiar voice rang through the empty kitchen, echoing off the lonely tiles of the floor and wall. Her lip quivered softly and she had to stop herself from hanging up.

She heard the beep and took a deep breath before speaking.

“Uh, Hey Lou, uhm Louis.” She said, remembering that things were different now.

“I know this is random for me to call, but I guess I just wanted to see how you were doing.” She paused, looking up at the ceiling to keep the tears from falling down her face.

“I miss you. I don’t miss us, Lou. I just miss you, that’s all.” She said, finally looking down and allowing the tears to fall. 

“Well, I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you. I don’t think you really will ever understand that I will always love you. You will be my best friend until the day I die. Good luck with everything, Lou. Give…give me a call sometime.” She sobbed slightly, taking a deep and shaky breath. She didn’t have the strength to say goodbye.

Hannah hung up the phone and looked at the picture once again. Eleanor was beautiful. She was everything that Hannah would never be, and had everything that she would never have again. 

She closed the computer, leaving her in the dark silence.

* * * *

Hannah woke up early the next day.

It was her birthday today.

She pretending not to feel the sticky-ness on her cheeks, and pretending that she hadn’t cried herself to sleep the night before after calling Louis.

She looked at herself in the mirror, smiling as big as she could. She promised herself she wouldn’t think of Louis today. It was her day, she was going to enjoy it.

She sat at her kitchen table. After a few minutes, she went to check her Twitter. She went to her mentions, and as she expected there were countless numbers of tweets wishing her a happy birthday.

As she continued to scroll down, she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion as she read multiple tweets regarding the same thing.

“Hannah, we are so sorry that your birthday was ruined. Please forgive us):”

“Hannah, don’t listen to people! Enjoy your day, don’t let them bother you.”

She continued scrolling before her hand clasped over her mouth quickly. 

Her eyes welled up, a layer of water forming over her lenses. She blinked and they fell quickly.

“Hannah is a fat bitch. She never deserved Louis. Eleanor is way prettier anyways.”

“It’s clear that Louis is much happier with Eleanor. Who wouldn’t be? Hannah is ugly.”

“Louannah? Ha, how about no. Eleanor is way better for Louis. She’s actually pretty.”

Hannah was used to getting hate, but nothing like this. What was all of this about? 

And then, she saw it. Her eyes glanced over to the left side of the screen.

“Louannah” was trending worldwide.

All the things she had promised herself to not think about started pouring into her mind.

She thought of their first date, their first kiss, their first fight, their first time. She thought of everything leading up to their breakup.

She thought of the phone-call she had with him the night before his Xfactor audition.

“Louis, you are going to be incredible.” 

“But Hannah, I’m so nervous. I don’t think I can do it.” She could hear his voice trembling through the other line.

“Louis, I promise you that things will work out for the best.”

She thought of when she went to the Xfactor live show, watching him perform Total Eclipse of the Heart. It was incredible to see him make something of himself. She remembered running through the corridors of the Xfactor studios to his dressing room and running right into his arms, tears falling from her face because of how proud she was of him.

Then she thought of the night he ended it. Ended them.

“I just really need to focus on my career. You know I love you Hannah. I always will.”

And she had believed that he would. Until she found out the real reason why he had left her.

Eleanor Calder.

But Eleanor was better for him. Wasn’t she? Even the fans thought so.

Hannah got up from her computer, not bothering to close it. She walked very slowly towards her bathroom, closing the door behind her. She looked in the mirror. She had stopped crying.

She brought her dainty hands to the mirror, opening it and grabbing the pair of scissors inside it. 

Her hands shook and she locked eyes with her own reflection, wondering where she had gone wrong.

She opened the scissors, placing the sharper end on her left wrist. For some reason, she still wasn’t crying.

She saw the blood draw, red cascading down her arm and onto the white tiles.  She brought the once silver blade back down to her arm, before switching to the other arm.

You’re the one that I hold onto, cause my heart would stop without you.

She slid her back against the wall, sitting on the slippery ground. Her bare legs were covered, as were her hands and arms.

Hannah grabbed her phone from the counter, dialing the number she still had memorized. 

She began crying now, as it brought her to voicemail once again.

“Hello Louis. I’m sorry to call you again.” 

The pain was beginning to subside, and she felt herself slipping away.

Her voice was weak, and she could barely talk.

“I love you more than I did before and if today I don’t see your face, nothing’s changed no one can take your place. It gets harder everyday.”

Tears fell from her eyes, diluting the thick redness that surrounded her.

“If you asked me, I would stay.”

The phone slipped from her hands, crashing to the floor. It made a sound, though she didn’t hear it.

She took one last breath, before breathing out slowly. “I will always love you Louis.”

She didn’t feel pain anymore. She didn’t feel anything.

* * * *

Hannah’s phone lit up next to her, ringing and vibrating. 

The name on the screen read “Lou Tomlinson”.

After a few moments, the ringing stopped.

“Hey Hannah. I’m sorry I didn’t get your last few calls, I have been really busy lately. How are you? I’m sorry for everything that happened today on Twitter.”

He paused, running his hand through his short hair.

“I miss you too. We need to get together soon and catch up. It’s been too long.”

He took a deep breath, nearly tearing up.

“I made a promise to you Hannah. I will always love you. Until the day I die.”

And with that, he hung up the phone.

Hannah never got that message.

jesus lord I can’t. I feel like SCREAMING